It was a wet Saturday morning, the previous night I did not even say a prayer before bed but He who searches and knows the heart of every man knew just what my need was. I had to walk miles to get water so I can wash in the morning, clean the house, cook for the family and serve my young ones: Yes I am the senior and God knew why I came first so I was always cheerful to serve. For me it was a normal routine though my chest and back ached occasionally but I knew it was my duty as a child, out of love I tell mummy “don’t worry I will do it, you should rest”.
However this Saturday I need not fetch water, God opened the heavens, cheerfully I fetched the rain water to feel containers in our room and then the unfortunate happened. I slipped but before I landed I was sure to protect the bucket I was using and hurt my ankle in the process, the pain was unbearable but what hurts most was the pain of being unable to save the bucket. I limped and slowly reported myself, first the attention was drawn to my wounded ankle but quickly without any sign of concern, I was showered with all manner of insults for breaking the bucket. Then I was reminded the burden I was, how they are struggling to provide for me, my school fees and all manner of soul poisoning insults. My disappointment at the moment was the fact that the injury on my ankle received no attention but I was even shocked nobody ever asked let alone looked at the wound till it healed, but I understood. The long and short of it all; I was a burden.
One question kept ringing in my mind growing up that is “where did I go wrong”, why am I treated like a nuisance, why am I called useless. In school my colleagues are always eager to go home, for me every single closing bell was a nightmare, I could not just imagine going back home; back to the slaps, insults and manner of assaults.
I became vey timid and was even called a fool, I always saw colleagues better off than I was, I could go the extra mile to love my neighbor more than myself. There was no such thing like why did you do this or that, I was always a sheep led to the slaughter without questioning. My grandmother always said the elderly is always right and I will be referred to Proverbs 13:24 and Ephesians 6:1-2 but I always took the pain to read even further then I discovered how just God in r the same chapter says in verse 4, Parents do not provoke your children to anger but rather bring them up in the fear of the Lord, so why do my parents always do selective reading of the bible I wondered.
If only our Parents will take the pain to read their own verse in Ephesians 6, they will understand that to bring up children in the nurture and admonishing of the lord comes with unconditional love and constructive discipline. The good book says in proverb 22:6, train up a child the way they should go that when they grow they will not depart from it.
My parents always complained how those days of their lives as children were awful, they never liked it but little did they know they have become just the replica of the parents they hated. A little bit of psychology has thought me that children learn mostly by modeling their parents consciously or unconsciously and whatever a person becomes in future can be traced back to his or her upbringing. Psychologist say scarcely do people grow up not having traces of how they were brought up, even that, there is still the sub-conscious man that depicts attributes of childhood upbringing once a while.
Children under no circumstance should be made to feel like a burden else they are tempted to question God about their very existence. A home without unconditional love and proper upbringing is a breeding ground for destruction. A lot of individuals today are suffering from all manner of traumas. What is even suicidal is the fact that most of these people vent their anger and frustration on innocent children I am sure if their view concerning their birth was asked the answer will be “NO”. A lot of children today are on the road to destruction always seeking counsel from the wrong people because the homes they come from is not conducive for a proper parent-child relationship. All manner of social vices are on the increase because we have little to no homes. Alcoholism and suicide is on the rise, others have resorted to early marriage as the escape route: so they run in and run out. There is no such thing like time with family; children are dying slowly inside out of frustration.
According to Katherine Kipp and David R. Shaffer in the book Development psychology, almost all behaviors can be traced to an individual’s upbringing, except for some that the individual picks from the society as a result of socializing. The possibility that a child will learn from peers and confide in them other than parents is very high when there is no home. According to Katherine and David the most appropriate way to bring up a child is the authoritative style having examined the authoritarian, permissive and neglectful and realized there have loop holes. The authoritative style is both high on demand and warmth. Parent discipline and correct children when they are wrong, involve them in making decisions that concern their well being, encourage them as well as reward them when they do what is right. Let us not forget children are blessings not burdens and for that matter upbringing should be seen more of a privilege by God to nurture his creation. Almost anyone is in the position to reproduce but few poses the gift to nurture.
Almost all, if not all of the social vices today can be traced to upbringing, there is no such thing as “each other’s keeper” something definitely is wrong somewhere. When a tree starts to wither suddenly, there is a need to check its roots. Let us check our roots, I pray we soon have a generation of parent who will see upbringing as a call and do things right, until then the stab in my heart remains fresh.
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